Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her." |
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home. |
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."
Student: I is the ... Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I." Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. |
A: "I was born in California."
B: "Which part?" A: "All of me." |
The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
The student says: Obviously it's the past tense. |
" Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc can I ask you a question?' The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Allan. Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?' The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered in Allan's ear, 'Try doing it with the engine running. |
اقتباس:
صاح ألان عبر المرآب ، "يمكن يا دوك أن أسألك سؤالا؟ مشى الجراح الشهير ، فوجئ قليلا، ألان مسح يديه على قطعة قماش، وتساءل : أنا أيضا يمكن أن أفتح القلوب، و صيانة الصمامات بها ، و وضع صمامات جديدة، وعندما أنتهي من هذا ستعمل تماما مثل واحد جديد. نحن الاثنين عمليا نؤدى نفس العمل و نبذل جهدا متساويا فكيف اعمل مقابل أجر زهيد و تحصل انت على المال الوفير ، عندما كنت و أنا في الأساس نقوم بنفس العمل؟ توقف الجراح وابتسم وانحنى و همس في أذن ألان، " حاول فعل ذلك مع تشغيل المحرك" |
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?" Teacher:" Of course not." Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework." |
اسع الزول يقوم يضحك ليكون بالانجليزى ولا العربى
وجعتو راسنا بالترجمة :D بالله شغالة اترجم وبعد ساعة اضحك ....خلاص اقول ليكوم نكتة بالعربى انتو قومو ترجموها لى سمح ؟ |
الصباح الباهي لونك:cool: وبث:D:D:D
|
اقتباس:
وكمان اليد هوادة:) |
اقتباس:
و شوفتك تسعد و تبهج و تسر .. خليك بالجوار .. |
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing. |
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.:) |
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number," replied the girl. |
| الساعة الآن 01:24 PM. |
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