Have a break....!
[align=left]These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place[/align].
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The last two are the best .. ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question! ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?[/align] |
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m . ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.[/align] |
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اقتباس:
بالغتى يا إشراق ... والله ناس المكتب باتعنا هنا ماتوا بالضحك ... لحدى ما المدير جا مارق من مكتبه و سأل الحاصل شنو ... بجيك راجع فى المساء للمزيد من الضحك ... أحلىَّ بريك من ألذَّ زول ... &@& |
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اقتباس:
ال witness دا رباطابي و لا شنو؟؟!!! |
Bndar..
It is meant to give a break and Time is like a river you cannot touch the same water twice...! >>> |
هاكم هذه يا أعزاء ..انتاج سوداني
ونحن طلاب في جامعة الخرطوم بادارة الاعمال كان لدينا بروف لا يبتسم ابدا واكاديمي للنخاع، وفي مساء احد الايام كان هناك حفل في الميدان الشرقي، شعبة ادارة الاعمال لا تبعد عن الميدان سوى امتار، ومن ضمن فقرات الحفل مباراة استعراضية بين نجوم فريق المريخ وفريق الزهرة وكان حينها بالدرجة الاولى، فكان أن قمنا(بدك) المحاضرة ومشاهدة المباراة ، جاء البروف يبحث عن طلابه فشاهدنا نتفرج وحضر الينا، تساءل بكل براءة عما يجري فاخبرناه أن المبارة التى تجرى امامه هي بين المريخ والزهرة، سأل: - وين المريخ؟ قلنا: - اللابسين اصفر وبنفس الجدية وبنفس البراءة تساءل: -وين الزهرة؟؟؟ سلامة النظر في بداية عهدي بهذا البورد ، وانا أقرأ اسم الاستاذة اشراق سقط حرف (R) من ناظري فكان اسمها عندي و لفترة من الوقت (إسحق ضرار) |
اقتباس:
في فمي ماء .....! ثم أين انتي؟؟ .. .... |
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The Bathtub Test It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. - 0 During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director whatthe criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. - 0 "Well,"said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." - 0 "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." - 0 "No."said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" - 0 &@&[/align] |
بندر
ممكونة الشريفي [align=left] Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest . The questions are as follows: 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR Sardar asks for help from the University students 3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 4) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT Sardar gives up.[/align] .. .. |
Ishrag Dirar
تحياتي تسلمي و الله على هذه النوادر الظريفة محتاجين فعلاً لهذه الفسحة |
| الساعة الآن 03:25 PM. |
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